Under the Pier

When we walk on a bridge or pier we see the “right side,” the side designed for traffic, the side meant to be exposed to the world. But what holds us up is the unseen underside, the structure that makes the rest possible.

What beliefs are so foundational for you that you rarely think about them?

First, I strongly believe that a child should be allowed to form his or her own belief system. Ethics should be taught by parents and family members. But, the core beliefs should be chosen by the child. I am so tire of people thinking my son should have short hair and act brutish. For one, he is only 11. Secondly, he loves his waist length hair. He is not into sports. He is a very friendly, loving, sensitive boy and that is fine. My daughter has short hair, wears jeans and t-shirts, and loves to climb trees. She is fourteen. I love them both just the way they are. I have taught them what is ethical (right and wrong) but I have let them choose their own beliefs. It is fine with me if they turn out Buddhist, Pagan, Christian, UU, or even atheist. It is their choice. I cannot and will not choose it for them. I heard one woman say that she was Christian because her grandmother was. That was her only reason. I asked her if she did some research before she chose a faith that was right for her. She said “Sure. I went to a Methodist church, a Southern Baptist Church, an Episcopal church, and a Missionary Baptist church.” I found that very funny. Why? When I was searching for a faith that I could depend on I did my own research. I spoke with a couple of Jewish friends about Judaism. I attended a Catholic church for a couple of months. I also tried attended a Pagan circle, a UU church, a Methodist church, a Missionary Baptist church and spoke with several Buddhist and Humanist friends. I finally stuck with Unitarian Universalism. But it took me a long time to find that fit. I broadened my horizons. I did not just look within one religion. And I love a good challenge. I love it when I am faced with an issue that totally rocks my foundation. It makes me think long and hard and decided where my faith really lies. I want my kids to be the same way. I want them to chose a faith because that is where their heart lies – not because that is the belief I told them they would have.

My other belief is that everyone should be treated equally – period. This means I totally uphold civil rights, women’s rights, and gay rights. I think that gay couples should have the right to marry and carry insurance on their partners. It is not about being gay or straight. It is about loving someone so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Hetero couple receive insurance and other spousal benefits. Gay couples should too. I also think that we should not judge a book by its cover. I used to do that. I met many Christians who treated non-Christians so horribly. I could not stand all the persecutions that were going on. I saw what groups like the Westboro Baptist Church and the KKK did to people. It made me ill. I then bagged all Christians into that group. I was wrong. The first UU church I attended was First Jefferson UU Church. The minister there was Christian and a UU. I was shocked. I listened to many sermons by him. They were astounding. I slowly began to change my view. I can no longer link all Christians together any more than I can link all Liberals or Hindus or Buddhists or Pagans together. That just leads to bigotry and hatred. This is what I mean when I say not to judge a book by its cover. Do not judge one person because of their faith, gender, race, or sexual orientation. As the UUs say, “We need not think alike to love alike.”

Testing

Generally people think of religion as, by definition, something that you take on faith. And indeed most religious questions aren’t subject to scientific testing—there isn’t an experiment that will prove or disprove the existence of God or an afterlife. And yet, our religious convictions are only really meaningful if they hold up in the context of our lives and our other beliefs, to the tests of whether  they make sense and whether they help us to live better lives.

What religious beliefs have changed for you as you’ve tested them against your life and values?

Today, I am going to do something a bit different. I read the Daily Compass for today and I have thought about it a great deal. But, I have decided not to post my thoughts here. It is just a bit too personal. I first started journaling in high school for my creative writing class. I had to. It was an assignment. Then, I noticed how cathartic it was for me. My dad was in the Navy and we moved A LOT. I had trouble making and keeping friends. There was no social media or email back then. I wrote letters, but I rarely received responses. I kept in contact with one friend through her dad’s ham radio.  But, on the whole, I was by myself. I did not even have any brothers or sisters. So, I wrote. It was very personal and private. Years later, I got married and had kids. My journaling habits went by the wayside. I would go months (or even years) without writing a single thing. I would eventually lose my journal all-together. then, I discovered blogging. I have started several blogs in the past, but gave up on them. I never knew what to write and my personal life was – well – too personal. I am always afraid that I will hurt someone’s feelings. I never want to write about something that will upset someone. I am so jealous of those who can write and not worry about it. Their blogs are so free and great to read. My fear is what kept me from writing about today’s Daily Compass. You see, I am a Unitarian Universalist (in case you haven’t figured that out by now). But, all my relatives are Baptist. I do not agree with them on many issues. I began my childhood thinking that everyone was right. I thought that I should follow what I was told or I would “go to Hell”.  After I got married, I started looking for a group/church/circle who would welcome me for me. I wanted a faith that was open and welcoming. I wanted a faith/religion that was very open and did not judge. I had had too much judging in my family and their churches. Everyone seemed so hypocritical. I wanted something different. So, I attended the First Jefferson UU Church of Fort Worth. I loved it. I felt like I had come home. The people there loved me and I love them. I have since moved too far from that church, but I have found another UU church. I found the church of the Larger Fellowship. It is an online UU church. There are live streaming services every Sunday and Monday. It is open and welcoming. No one is judged.  They believe in a universal salvation and so do I.

Well, it seems like I have answered the Daily Blog after all. And I feel better for it. I guess I just have to be me. Either people will like me or they won’t. I have to quit worrying about it. It is so hard though. I just gotta have faith.

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